One of my besties was digging through an old pile of junk and said, "Oh, Astarte, look at this!",then held out a handful of coins to me.
 
We were 10 years in the future, I looked at her hand and started laughing. The kids came over to see what we were going on about. The younger ones didn't know what money was. The older kids scoffed and walked off.
 
She said, "Remember when this used to control our lives?"
 
I said, "It never controlled mine!"
 
We looked at each other and both busted up laughing.
 
I wish I could say that this was true. My bestie had this dream the same day I had a meltdown over money, or lack of money. It seems to be a constant struggle these days getting things paid. I was reminiscing about the day when my mortgage payment was $300 something a month, my car payment was about $80 a month and car insurance less than $30 a month, I had one phone - a land-line, no internet bills, no cell phone bills, and I thought, "What the hell happened?" I'm not really that old from my perspective, so what's up? Where did it all turn bad, and why was I making more money in 1982 than I am now?
 
We all have heard the old structures are collapsing, financial system included. So as a lightworker is this all a big test on how to maneuver finances, or lack of finances in the new World energy? It's a pretty damn good excuse; although, I don't have a lack of abundance, I have good friends, good food, good times, family, and my health.
 
As I'm looking at this energy I remembered I had numerous gifts flow to me last week, an all-expense paid trip to southern New Mexico, free tickets to get into Carlsbad Caverns as I'm walking in the entrance, a bag of shirts and skirts, a case of lettuce for my hens. So if I have abundance, where is the money? Ah, I jump up and take a look at my manifesting board...yes, financial blessings are there so WTF? Isn't that all I have to do, put it on the board, be clear and wait for the signals? As I scan my whole manifesting board have I actually written money? NO. Is it really that simple? Maybe. Maybe not, as I scramble for a pen.
 

 
Then I come across Steve Rother's chanelling today:
 
"With regards to abundance if you choose your place on the ladder on a lower rung, you can live a very comfortable life. Yes, you will struggle with money at times but will be very comfortable. On the higher rung you may never struggle with money, but you will have responsibilities that you do not have on the lower rungs. Many of you have quietly chosen to be in the middle because it is somewhat comfortable. We are asking you to take the responsibility first and change all of it. Not only will it affect your abundance, but it will help you to move vibrationally and release any restricting conflicts that get in your way as you move to the next level. We are watching you starting to do this in many ways in your organizations, businesses, friendships, and spiritual families. You are starting to spread this out in a very beautiful way."
 
And the light bulb moment. I'm allergic to responsibility. O.k. I know I won't sign a contract with a cell phone company, too much responsibility. I won't make meet-up appointments more than a day in advance, too much responsibility. I cancelled my plans to open a chocolate shop in the 11th hour, too much responsibility. And the truth is, isn't being a single mother enough responsibility? Well you'd think so, Jeez, helping with the homework every night should be a ticket to free money, but apparently NOT. So if I want some money I have to be willing to accept the responsibility. Does that mean I log on my bank account every day and check the balance? Does that mean I donate my time to the food bank? What does it mean?
 
All right, spirit guides give me some answers...here it is:
 
"Oh sweet one, we see your struggles and we see how distracted you become. Your mind is so filled with these thoughts of how to manifest money to pay the next bill that you have lost sight of what this means for you. Do you remember the days you had so much money you could shop without checking the balance of your money account? You remember how much joy you had in your work? You enjoyed every minute of it until the joy fell out of it, when the joy fell out of your work you lost the money. Your spirit was asking for a change and that is scary for you. As humans you always are looking for the answers, and you forget that you came to Earth, in part, for the surprise factor. Embrace the changes and the surprise factor. Learn from the past and trust that the flow leads you to where it is you can do the most good."
 
hmmmm...contemplate more still.
 
Comments welcome!
 
Light & Love, Astarte